10 June 1777
My dear Madam,
I am sorry that when I wrote from Melton, I expressed myself so, as to lead you to expect we might probably wait on you at Leasingham. I intended to signify that it would have given us great pleasure, but at the same time I saw it was impracticable. Perhaps we may one day meet; I will at least indulge the thought as it [is] pleasing and I hope harmless. Till then I shall be glad to do all I can to convince you, that I greatly value your correspondence.
I was indeed very near going to Hull. Yea I was actually set out, and as far as London in my way. But it was more in submission to what appeared to me at the time, the Lord’s will, than my own choice. But he who can do all things, and sometimes conceals his interposition, till the critical moment, appeared wonderfully in this business. A turn took place which determined my continuance here, with full satisfaction to myself, and to all concerned. My poor people, who had been much distressed, and much exercised in prayer, knew in that day, that poor and unnoticed as they are in the eyes of the world, the Lord of Hosts regarded them, and appeared for them. I could not but rejoice myself, for though I am bound, and through mercy was in that instance, enabled, to give up all personal feelings, at his call, yet I felt it hard to part from them, after his blessing during a course of 13 years had cemented us so closely together. I esteem it not one of the least remarkable events, in a life which has abounded with signal instances of his goodness.
From Melton I pursued my route to Leicester, Warwick, Birmingham and home through Lutterworth and Northampton. I had frequent opportunities of preaching, and the pleasure of seeing the Lord’s work and people flourishing in many places. Mrs Newton was favoured with so much health as to be able to pursue her journey according to our plan, and to enjoy the company of friends. But something of the complaint in her head, still continues for the exercise of faith and patience, though so mercifully alleviated from time to time as to give us much cause for praise. He knows our frame, remembers we are but dust, and lays no more upon us than he enables us to bear. She joins with me in affectionate respects, and in expressing a hope of one day receiving you at Olney. For as you say we must not have expected you at Hull, it seems to intimate we may some time see you here.
Temptations may be compared to the wind, which when it has ceased raging from one point, after a short calm, frequently renews its violence from a different or opposite quarter. The Lord silenced Satan’s former assault against you, but he is permitted to try you again, in another way. Be of good courage Madam, wait upon the Lord, and the present storm shall likewise subside in due time. You have an infallible pilot, and are embarked in a bottom against which the winds and waves cannot prevail. You may be tossed about, and think yourself in apparent jeopardy, but sink you shall not, except the promise and faithfulness of God can fail.
Upon an attentive consideration of your complaint, it seems to me to amount only to this, that though the Lord has done great things for you, he has not yet brought you into a state of independence on himself, nor released you from that impossibility which all his children feel of doing anything without him. And is this indeed matter of complaint? Is it not every way better, more for his glory, and more suited to keep us mindful of our own obligations to him, and in the event more for our safety, that we should be reduced to a happy necessity of receiving daily out of his fullness (as the Israelites received the Manna) than to be set up with something of a stock of wisdom, power and goodness of our own? Adam was thus furnished at the beginning, with strength to stand, yet mutability being essential to a creature, he quickly fell, and lost all. We who are by nature sinners, are not left to so hazardous an experiment. He has himself engaged to keep us, and treasured up all fullness of grace for our support, in a Head who cannot fail. Our Gracious Saviour will communicate all needful supplies to his members, yet in such a manner that they shall feel their need and weakness, and have nothing to boast of from first to last, but his wisdom, compassion and care. We are no worse circumstanced than the Apostle Paul, who though eminent and exemplary in the Christian life, found and freely confessed that he had no sufficiency of himself to think a good thought. Nor did he wish it otherwise; he even gloried in his infirmities that the power of Christ might rest upon him. Unbelief and a thousand evils are still in our hearts; though their reign and dominion are at an end, they are not slain or eradicated. Their effects will be felt more or less sensibly, as the Lord is pleased more or less to afford, or abate his gracious influence. When they are most kept down, we are no better in ourselves, for they are not kept down by us, but we are very prone to think better of ourselves at such a time, and therefore he is pleased to permit us at seasons to feel a difference, that we may never forget how weak and how evil we are. It is not properly speaking our duty to conquer these evils, though it becomes us to be humbled for them, and we are to fight and strive and pray against them. Our great duty is to lie at his footstool, and to cry to him who has promised to perform all things for us. Why, are we called soldiers, but because we are called to a warfare, and how could we fight if there were no enemies to resist? The Lord soldiers are not like the City-trained bands – to make an empty parade in a uniform, and brandish their arms when none but friends and spectators are around them. No, we must stand upon the field of battle, we must face the fiery darts, we must wrestle (which is the closest and most arduous kind of fighting) with our foes. Nor can we well expect wholly to escape wounds, but the leaves of the tree of life are provided for their healing – the Captain of our salvation is at hand, and he leads us on, with an assurance which might make even a coward bold, that in the end we shall be more than conquerors through him, who has loved us.
I am ready to think that some of the sentiments in your letter, are not properly yours, such as you yourself have derived from the Scripture, but rather borrowed from authors or preachers, whose judgement your humility has led you to prefer to your own. At least I am sure the Scripture does not authorise the conclusion which distresses you, that if you were a child of God you should not feel such changes and opposition. Were I to define a Christian, or rather to describe him at large I know no text I would sooner choose as a ground for the subject than Galatians 5:17. [1] A Christian has noble aims, which distinguish him from the bulk of mankind. His leading principles, motives and desires are all supernatural and divine. Could he do as he would, there is not a spirit before the throne should excel him in holiness, love and obedience. He would tread in the very footsteps of his Saviour, fill up every moment in his service and employ every breath in his praise. Thus he would do, but alas he cannot. Against this desire of the Spirit, there is a contrary desire working of a corrupt nature which meets him at every turn. He has a beautiful copy set before him, he is enamoured with it, and though he expects not to equal it, he writes carefully after, and longs to attain the nearest possible imitation. But indwelling sin and Satan, continually try his hand and spoil his strokes. You cannot, Madam, form a right judgement of yourself, except you make due allowance for those things which are not peculiar to yourself but common to all who have spiritual perception, and are indeed the inseparable appendages of this mortal state. If it were not so, why should the most gracious and spiritual people, be so ready to confess themselves vile, and worthless? Holiness is our great aim. But the holiness of a sinner is not like that of an angel. One eminent branch of our holiness is a sense of shame and humiliation, for those evils which are only known to ourselves and to him who searches our hearts, joined with an acquiescence in Jesus, who is appointed to us of God, wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and redemption. I will venture to assure you, that though you will possess a more stable peace in proportion as the Lord enables you to live more simply upon the blood, righteousness and grace of the Mediator, you will never grow into a better opinion of yourself than you have at present. The nearer you are brought to him, the quicker sense you will have of your continual need of him. And thereby your admiration of his power, love and compassion, will increase likewise from year to year.
I would observe farther, that our spiritual experiences are not a little influenced by our constitutional temperament. As you are an ideal correspondent, I can only conjecture about you upon this head. If your frame is delicate, and your nervous system very sensible and tender, I should probably ascribe some of your apprehensions to this cause. It is an abstruse subject, and I will not venture far into it, but according to the observations I have made, persons of this habit, seem to live more upon the confines of the invisible world, if I may so speak, and to be more susceptive of impressions from it, than others. If you know anything of that complaint which for want of a better name we call lowness of spirits, it may probably afford the enemy some peculiar advantages and occasions of distressing you. The mind then perceives objects as through a tinctured medium, which gives them a dark and discouraging appearance, and I believe Satan has more influence and address than we are aware of, in managing the glass. And where this is not the case at all times, it may be so occasionally from sickness or other circumstances. You tell me that you have lately been ill, which together with your present situation and the prospect of your approaching hour, may probably have such an effect as I have hinted, and you may be charging yourself with guilt, for what springs from indisposition, in which you are merely passive, and which are no more properly sinful, than the headache, or any of the thousand natural shocks the flesh is heir to. But all within and all without, is under an infallible direction. The enemy can take no advantage but what the Lord permits him, and he will permit him none, but what he designs to overrule for your greater advantage in the end. He delights in your prosperity, and you should not be in heaviness for an hour were there not a need-be for it. Notwithstanding your fears, I have a good hope that he who as you say has helped you in six troubles, will appear for you in the seventh, that you will not die but live and declare the works of the Lord, and come forth to testify to his praise that he has turned your mourning into joy.
Some of my friends have desired me to prepare a volume or two of my letters to real correspondents, for the press. I know not whether I should not be ashamed to own, but I have thoughts of complying with their request. For who or what am I? One reason of my consenting is, to prevent if possible anyone doing it for me after my death. Another is, that as years advance and my eyes begin to fail, and my letter writing will probably be much abridged before long, my friends, may accept what will be published, instead of new ones – which will be much the same thing – as I suppose though I write upon new paper, I seldom now write a new letter. It is probable my stock of such ideas as are worth recording, has been nearly exhausted before this, and that I am now chiefly a retailer of repetitions. Perhaps out of a great number (for I have written many reams of paper) I could select some, which might comprise the substance of the whole. I purpose however to admit few if any of a later date than the last year. For I could not write truly to a friend, under a predetermination of borrowing the letter again to send to the press. I think I should give a place to one or two of those I had the pleasure of sending to you. If you choose to keep the originals, may I beg the favour of you some time hence, to send me a transcript of such extracts from any of them, as you think may be fit to appear in public and to use your liberty in suppressing any part that might point out the person to whom they were addressed. I purpose to mention no names but to inscribe them severally to Mr or Mrs_. Only I would wish the dates preserved. Any time between this and October will be early enough for your compliance with my request.
I beg leave to mention my respects to Mr Gardiner. I shall hope soon after you are able to go abroad again, to be favoured with an account of your welfare, and of the accession to your family.[2]
I am Madam,
Your affectionate, humble servant
John Newton
Olney June 77 [3]
Endnotes:
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[1] |
Galatians 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. |
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[2] |
Sarah Myra Gardiner (1777-1801) was baptised in Leasingham on 16 July 1777. |
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[3] |
This letter can be dated from Newton’s Diary, Tuesday 10 June 1777: ‘Some leisure employed in writing a long letter to Mrs Gardiner.’ |
Acknowledgements:
Morgan Museum and Library MA 733.3
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